One of the most asked questions I get is “How do you cope without weed?”. Whether you have a dependency on weed or not, today we are going over all of the amazing coping tactics I have developed over the last year to help me deal with my hardest days without slipping back into bad habits. We all cope in different ways whether it’s spending money, using a substance, overeating, picking at your skin, biting nails, etc. There is truly no shame in the way you cope because to be quite honest, most of our parents did not teach us any better way because they also did not have the proper resources.

I used to need to deal with a bad day by smoking my thoughts away, isolating myself, eating the biggest meal possible once the munchies hit, and then immediately regretting all of my decisions once the high faded. If I had a really bad day, I would end up binge drinking until I couldn’t remember anything and spend excessive amounts of money at my local bar. This was a constant cycle for months on end. I felt so much guilt and shame for these coping tactics but I didn’t have any better solutions so I would smoke and drink again to cope with the fact that I had no coping habits.

Whether you find comfort in substances, food, or other habits, I’m here to provide you with all the valuable and effective ways to cope when you come home from a bad day and all you want to do is indulge.

The Mirror

Now this, I stole directly from this amazing book, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It. Look into the mirror, make direct eye contact with yourself, and ask “If I truly loved myself, what would I do in this situation?” Even if you don’t fully love yourself just yet, act in a way that you would if you did love yourself. Treat yourself with the utmost amount of care and respect that you would someone you truly love. Think, “If I truly and fully loved myself, would I go back to bad coping habits?” “If I truly and fully loved myself, would I do something that I will regret or feel guilty about later?” This shift will ultimately put you in that “fake it til you make it” mindset that will have you acting in a way that you wish came naturally, and then over time with much practice and repetition, it will! So when it comes down to the time you want to cope with your substance, go in the mirror and remember that if you truly loved yourself, you wouldn’t go back to old habits.

The Mirror 2.0

Looking in the mirror helps so much because you are truly facing yourself and your battles head-on! Now if you’re about to relapse, binge, etc., look into the mirror first. Out loud, list off all the reasons why your bad habit negatively affects you. For example with smoking weed, I would out loud say “Smoking weed hurts my lungs when I work out. It puts me in a dull haze that doesn’t allow me to be productive. Smoking weed makes my work sloppy. I have horrible memory from smoking. It takes away my ability to eat when sober. I feel disassociated from reality and have a great sense of paranoia when high.” This will remind you of why you even wanted to quit your bad coping tactic in the first place! If you like weighing the benefits more than the negatives, you can even out loud say all the reasons why would you prefer to NOT use your bad coping habits. For example, “I like not smoking weed because I have more energy, I can get my work done more efficiently, I eat proper meals that fuel my body, I am more social, I make more friends when sober, I can clean my apartment without feeling distracted, etc.” Either route you take will help relax your racing thoughts that are telling you to relapse. This will frame your mind to accept the fact that you won’t be going back to old habits tonight (in my case smoking my pain away) and allow your mind to feel more at ease after weighing the pros and cons.

Journal

“What do I do after the mirror though?” Write out your thoughts!! The first time I felt relief from journaling was when I was going through my first real breakup in college and was feeling so hopeless. All I wanted to do was drink, smoke, cry, tell him how I felt, party, and repeat. Instead of this, I wrote out pages on pages of all the things I wished I could’ve said to him but didn’t. The feeling of trying to write as fast as your thoughts are coming, having your hand cramp 10 pages in, and then finally slamming your notebook shut is SO rewarding! It feels like the biggest weight is let off of your shoulders and it allows you to actually confront your feelings!! There are no rules to journalling, it truly is just a way to dump all of your thoughts and feelings on paper without feeling like you’re putting a burden on another person. Instead of reaching for a drink or smoke, reach for your journal and face those feelings. The more uncomfortable you feel when writing, the better in all honestly. Once you face those uncomfortable feelings, it will get easier every time to deal with your emotions and not relapse into your old bad habits.

Counting

If all of the above tactics are too time-consuming because you are the type to immediately grab a hit of your pen when you feel anxiety rising or you want to go buy a bunch of snacks to binge eat, counting is for you! This is a tactic many medical professionals advise for anxiety and it is as simple as counting things around you. Once you feel that anxiety creeping in and your brain begins to crave your bad coping habit, begin to count everything around you. Count how many red objects you can see in your room, then move to orange, yellow, green, squares, circles, triangles, t-shirts, necklaces, posters, ceiling tiles, etc. This is an amazing calming method that will distract your brain from its panic state, and will ultimately put you in a sense of meditation. When I was withdrawing from weed, I spent so many nights counting how many shirts I had hanging, how many colored items I had, and even just counting all ten fingers over and over again until I felt relaxed and it worked wonders. It sounds silly and simple but it works wonders! (Sometimes I even count the alphabet on my hands or sign the sign language alphabet over and over again until I feel better)

Lay with your thoughts

If you’re home and stuck in an anxious loop, this one is for you. Set aside a certain amount of time to allow yourself to feel. Whether that’s just 10 minutes or as long as an hour, make your room the coziest you possibly can, turn the lights off, play relaxing music (ocean sounds, classical, instrumental, etc.), and allow yourself to silently lay and feel. Cry, release your emotions, or even just practice deep breathing here and allow your body to feel all the feels until you reach relaxation. This especially helps me when my anxiety has me feeling like the walls are caving in on me and it’s exhausting me. Even if it means you have to skip your lunch hour that day, setting that time aside right when your anxiety attack is on the rise to just rest and recoup will make a whirlwind of a difference.

Exercise

If lying down is not for you, exercise will be your best friend! You don’t have to be a fitness guru to get up and get moving! Exercise is the last thing I want to do when I’m anxious, but it is always the best thing for me! Whenever I’m having a bad day and still force myself to go to a HIIT class or take a walk no matter how badly I want to stay home, I ALWAYS feel so much better after. Once you get your body moving, those endorphins will spike your energy levels and improve your mood overall! Force yourself to get to that workout class or get your steps in, this is where true discipline comes into play but I promise you, you never regret working out! Also, once you work out once and feel that amazing rush of endorphins after, remind yourself of how amazing you felt after that workout on those days that you want to skip the gym and smoke instead!

The Reminder

Lastly, the biggest reminder, this will pass. Every single one of us has had a bad day before and is still here today! These big feelings that you have will pass with time and as long as you can at least tolerate them, you will be just fine tomorrow! Tomorrow is always a new day to start fresh and have a better day. These negative thoughts and feelings are only temporary and will always get better. Accept this fact, and you will make it out!

At the end of the day, we are all human beings. We all experience different levels of anxiety or stress that we all can tolerate at different levels. Throwing out those bad coping habits and forming new ones will not only make your life easier, but you will also feel better every single day. Constantly remind yourself of why you don’t like your comfortable coping habits and that there are better ways to face your emotions and deal with any problems that arise in life. I went from relying on substances to shut off my pain and emotions to now truly embracing every feeling that comes my way, positive or negative. I’m just a normal human being just like you and if I can do it, so can you. Whether you believe in yourself right now or need to fake it until you make it, I promise YOU GOT THIS!

Sending you all so much love, light, and healing this week. Thank you for starting your Monday with me LOVE YOU ALL & please let me know how you liked this week’s edition. 💚

Health Fact of The Day:

77% of Americans have used addictive behaviors or unhealthy coping mechanisms to manage their mental health.

***DON’T LET THIS BE YOU. YOU HAVE THE TOOLS TO COPE HEALTHILY, USE THEM AND POSITIVITY WILL COME YOUR WAY!!!***